Play by Play: A Clockwork Orange

Before we get into this. I just want to let everyone know that Katie hates seeing eyeballs on screen. Mostly when the eyeballs are getting injured/popping out of the sockets. We all have our weird fear of things on screen, like I can't stand seeing the needle go into the skin. On top of that, she really does not like watching overt sexual content. So, you know, she made a great choice when she plugged A Clockwork Orange in. I asked her to make play by play notes while the movie ran, giving us pretty much a stream of consciousness experience. Let's take a look. (Joe)

Weeell, this movie is off to a great start. R.I.P. Drunk Old Dude.

Grandma has purple hair? Whaaaa? 

Oh. Mom. My bad. Wait, he's in high school? Bull.
Also, love the obsession with Beethoven. At least this kid has good taste. 

So, super creepy guy in the bedroom, yes?
Wait, so he has a key to his house, felt him up, and made himself a drink? What a jerk.
Again, loving the soundtrack.
House of mirrors? 

Hehey! 2001 reference, yes??
Surprise! More ladies.
Orchestra's back. Get ready to close your eyes.
CALLED IT.
I can't get past the eyeballs on the sleeves. Aaaaaahhhhh 

NO. THERE’S MORE ORCHESTRA. Girls run!
Waaiit. Whaa?
Woah woah woah, a knife? But, why? They're friends, what did he do? 

Hold up. Now they're hanging out? I'd be out of there in a heartbeat. "See my hand? I'M OUT."
Why the fascination with women's bodies? Come on lady.
Cats. I like her. 

Good for her! She didn't answer the door. At least she's not dumb.
Calling the police! Goodness gracious she's so smart. I hope I don't see more of her than I want to.
Woah, what are those paintings?
I don't like her anymore.
He looks so smug. I don't like him anymore either.
Haha wait, I never liked him.
Why am I still watching this?
Creepy guy's back! Boys watch out!
He killed cat woman! I don't know how to feel about that.
How much longer is this movie? I need to watch Disney or something.
His eyes are gorgeous. I wish they weren't; it would make it so much easier to stop watching.

Op! Just smiled. Ew. I can stop watching now.
Did he just smirk at the officer? He just smirked at the officer. That's not okay.
His tie is short and fat and it looks silly. 

Ha! And the back part is longer. Classic.
Woah! Almost saw body parts I didn't want to. Thanks Kubrick. 

HIS EYES. I can't look past them.
Boooobs again. Goodness.
Hahahahaha the Father just referred to him as his inmate number. For some reason I found that hilarious.
Haha! He just did it again. Love it.
Okay. I made it. I'm an hour in. Aaaaand, I still don't know what it's about.
Hold up. He's still talking to the Father. Maybe he'll change his ways? 

Gah! What a cool composition!
Oh no. Orchestra again.
Naked lady pictures next to a cross. Stay classy, inmate #655321.
Okay, orchestra music's gone and nothing happened. I'm confused.

Well! This has been fun. 1hr 11mins and 25 seconds in. I'm out. 

GAH I have to keep going. Dammit Joe, you seriously owe me big time.

Damn. It was paused too long the screen went black.

It's still paused.
I'm going out of my way to find things to distract me now.

IMMA DO IT.

Gosh this is disgusting.
Stop with the eye drops! You're killing me!
I actually really enjoy this song. 1:16:00. Buuuut, not the video that’s playing simultaneously.
Beethoven! Damn you Burgess, you genius.
Young Malcolm McDowell looks nothing like old Malcolm McDowell.
Wait, now he's performing in a play? I'm still getting over the eye part. I couldn't handle anything after that. I'm struggling even now to keep watching.
Woah! Violence makes him sick! Burgess, again, you genius.
Uh oh. Techno 70s music is back. Please don't show more of that poor girl than needed.
Whoo! He's getting better!
His tie is even on proportionally now. Was this intentional? I hope so. I love it.
Hehey! Yellow hair! Nice change, Mom.
Why is he yelling?
Ah. I'm so proud of him. That tie looks smashing.
Short and fat ties must run in the family. Come on, Dad. 

No! The snake’s gone, too?

The music in the background is not helping.
Aww. I actually feel bad for him now. :( 

So much emotion!
Woah! Drunk homeless man is alive?!
Are those his friends? I don't recognize them without their eyeball infused long sleeve shirts.

Long shot! Good one, Kubrick.
Woah woah woah! Stop hitting him!
Cool sound design though.
Wait, where is he going?
OH SNAP.
Wait, whaa? What happened to the lady?
Wait, “victim”? But the treatment worked...
Woah, is he crazy? What's wrong with the old man now? 

Oh gosh, please don't go where I think this is going.
Singing in the Rain. Good choice.
WOAH, HOLD UP. NOT A GOOD CHOICE.
Oh man. I hate to say it but this movie is turning out great.
I think he's being poisoned. Or they're going to kill them. 

Poisoned it was!
Spoke too soon.
Okay, not cool. He's obviously changed, so now they're being cruel. 

But he did rape and murder his wife, so the old man has a right. But does he?
KUBRICK OH MY GOSH THE SYMMETRY IS AMAZING. 

I'm so conflicted.
He's still alive?! Oh my gosh. 

Oh ew. He’s right there. Be professional guys.
Pink hair. I don't get why Mom's hair color keeps changing.
There's the short and fat tie on Dad again. This has to be on purpose.
Symmetry again. Man. So cool.
Okay, now a blue haired nurse? Come on.
Now he's back. Back to being bad? Like before he went to recovery?
COOL HOSPITAL SHOT.
I'm sorry, I can't look past the ties. They're always super thick. I hate it.
But I love the fact that the long monologue of the cop guy is broken up by shots of Alex eating. Very cute. 

Ha! I love it.
No, no, no, not Beethoven's 9th.
Phew. Back to the cool hospital shot. 

So what did Fredrick promise him? I was distracted by him eating.
What's happening to his face? 

WHAT?!
Oh no.