Joe's Oscar Predictions: (I'm usually terrible at this)

Do you want to win a DVD prize? Go ahead and post in the comment section what you think is going to win and the commenter with the most correct choices will win a DVD prize of my choosing! It’s that easy. There is no reason you should not try.

Now, what do I think will win?

Here’s what I think! Tell me I’m a dummy, if you want. Or you could agree with me.

Best Picture:

Amour

Argo

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Django Unchained

Les Miserables

Life of Pi

Lincoln

Silver Linings Playbook

Zero Dark Thirty

I haven’t seen Lincoln yet. I know, I know, I know. How could I pick this to win when I haven’t seen it? Well, I’ve seen everything else (except Amour. But that’s a foreign flick. It’s like when Toy Story 3 got nominated for Best Picture, and all it did was cement a win in the Animated category). Basically, this year seems really weak to me. I liked all the movies above, but none of them really wowed me, or stood out. Personally, I think Argo deserves the win, but with the lack of a director nod I can’t see it beating a flick that is essentially made to win awards. With Steven Spielberg, one of the most beloved directors of all time. So, you know, Lincoln.

Best Director:

Michael Haneke

Ang Lee

David O. Russell

Steven Spielberg

Benh Zeitlin

This is my heart talking. Spielberg is probably going to add another Oscar statue to his mantel, but I really think Ang Lee deserves this. He made a movie that was previously deemed unfilmable (four other directors tried to make this flick and failed) and he brought us an emotional, exciting, and engaging movie. There wasn’t even a notable star, and yet it was a success. I couldn’t see that happening without this man in the director’s chair.

Best Actor:

Bradley Cooper

Daniel Day-Lewis

Hugh Jackman

Joaquin Phoenix

Denzel Washington

There is no way he can’t win. I mean, I really want Joaquin Phoenix to win because he blew me away in The Master. It was, hands down, the best performance I saw all year. But Phoenix had to shit talk the academy and now has basically alienated himself from winning the award. Instead, we have a crazy method actor portraying an American hero. This one is kind of a no-brainer.

Best Actress:

Jessica Chastain

Jennifer Lawrence

Emmanuelle River

Quvenzhane Wallis

Naomi Watts

There are two choices for this category: Chastain or Lawrence. Emmanuelle isn’t well known enough. Quvenzhane is too young. It doesn’t seem like many people saw or cared about The Impossible. Jennifer Lawrence did a great job, but she is too young. Chastain carried a three hour movie about in the ins and outs of political bureaucracy. It ends in a twenty-five realistic raid on bin Laden’s home. I mean, this isn’t really an easy movie to sit through. But Jessica Chastain was able to pull it off, without even wavering.

Best Supporting Actor:

Alan Arkin

Robert De Niro

Philip Seymour Hoffman

Tommy Lee Jones

Christoph Waltz

I heard Tommy Lee Jones was really good. That’s it. I heard somewhere that TLJ was going to win, so I pretty much had my mind made up. Also, I really love him! De Niro could win, and I think he would be a great winner. His work in Silver Linings Playbook is some of his best in years. I would venture to say it is his best since the early nineties. But for some reason, I still have a hunch TLJ is going to take it.

Best Supporting Actress:

Amy Adams

Sally Field

Anne Hathaway

Helen Hunt

Jacki Weaver

Anne Hathaway is the only notable performance from this category. Helen Hunt has the same issues as Naomi Watts—it doesn’t seem like anyone saw The Sessions. Jacki Weaver barely did anything in SLP. Amy Adams was great in The Master, but like Weaver, didn’t do a lot compared to Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix. Sally Field is Sally Field, so who cares. Anne Hathaway was easily the best part of Les Miserables and she was in it for the smallest portion of time. Tip your hats to the next William Hurt (A History of Violence), ladies and gentlemen.

Best Original Screenplay:

Amour

Django Unchained

Flight

Moonrise Kingdom

Zero Dark Thirty

Mark Boal basically wrote a news article in the form of a movie. It is debatable how accurate the story is, but that aside, the movie is expansive and takes a close look at the man hunt for Osama bin Laden. I give him added points for not making a political movie out of this political issue. It is a difficult task to make this movie and keep it fairly unbiased.

Best Adapted Screenplay:

Argo

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Life of Pi

Lincoln

Silver Linings Playbook

I don’t know, it’s just, Lincoln. I haven’t voted enough for this movie. I think it’s going to win more than I want it to. So, while I think Argo might win this as a consolation prize. I’m sticking with Lincoln because the movie did take a man’s life and whittle it down to an accessible (probably?) three hour movie.

Best Animated Feature:

Brave

Frankenweenie

ParaNorman

The Pirates! Band of Misfits

Wreck-It Ralph

I want any one of these movies to beat Brave. Mostly, I want ParaNorman to win because I loved that movie so so so so so much. It was like a classic kid gang movie from the nineties. Sadly, it seems like when Pixar makes a halfway decent movie it gets locked this category. So, Brave, that pile of shit.

Best Foreign Language Film:

Amour

War Witch

No

A Royal Affair

Kon-Tiki

Amour is nominated for best picture. If you don’t mark this as the winner for Foreign then you’re a dingus.

Best Cinematography:

Anna Karenina

Django Unchained

Life of Pi

Lincoln

Skyfall

Life of Pi looked beautiful. It was shot for 3D, so that's just another element to think about during the production. And on top of that, the 3D wasn’t heinous like it normally is. The movie relied heavily on the visuals to carry the story and you need compelling composition to obtain that challenge. They did it!

Best Editing:

Argo

Life of Pi

Lincoln

Silver Linings Playbook

Zero Dark Thirty

Again, I feel like I need to give Argo something. So, here you go, Affleck. Enjoy the editing award.

Best Production Design:

Anna Karenina

The Hobbit: An Expectedly Long Journey

Les Miserables

Life of Pi

Lincoln

A movie based on a stage play made to look like a stage play. Simple as that.

Best Costume Design:

Anna Karenina

Les Miserables

Lincoln

Mirror Mirror

Snow White and the Huntsman

I need to vote for Lincoln more. That’s about it. You always need to pick a period piece for this category. That puts Mirror Mirror and Snow White out of the running. Anna Karenina seemed too obscure, if that makes any sense? Like, it wasn’t grounded enough, but wasn’t over the top enough. I don’t really know, I’m basing that idea off the two minute trailer. Les Miserables is close, but Lincoln is based on a real man’s life, one that’s in an era that lends itself to an array of costumes.

Best Make-Up and Hairstyling:

Hitchcock

The Hobbit: An Expectedly Long Journey

Les Miserables

Did everyone see how great Anthony Hopkins looked as Hitchcock?

Best Original Score:

Anna Karenina

Argo

Life of Pi

Lincoln

Skyfall

The score in this movie was the only one I really thought about afterwards. It had all the emotional qualities you need for a good score, but was still unique in the setting.

Best Original Song:

Chasing Ice

Les Miserables

Life of Pi

Skyfall

Ted

I’m probably going to lose this one. I figured Les Miserables was the musical, so it had to win. Everyone has told me that I’m dumb. I should have picked Adele.

Best Sound Mixing:

Argo

Les Miserables

Life of Pi

Lincoln

Skyfall

I usually pick the loudest movie of the bunch. I probably should have picked Skyfall, but Life of Pi had that cool storm/ship sinking scene.

Best Sound Editing:

Argo

Django Unchained

Life of Pi

Skyfall

Zero Dark Thirty

^ See above. ^

Best Visual Effects:

The Avengers

The Hobbit

Life of Pi

Prometheus

Snow White and the Huntsman

Did you know the tiger was mostly configured with CGI? There weren’t any scenes shot with Suraj Sharma and the tiger together. But they interact for the majority of the movie!That is incredible to me. This is Benjamin Button good.

Best Documentary:

5 Broken Cameras

The Gatekeepers

How to Survive a Plague

The Invisible War

Searching for Sugar Man

This is the only documentary I watched, so I fail. But it was great! Depressing as shit, but great.

Best Short Documentary:

Inocente

Kings Point

Mondays at Racine

Open Heart

Redemption

I had no idea. This was a complete guess.

Best Short Animated:

Adam and Dog

Fresh Guacamole

Head Over Heels

Paperman

The Simpsons: The Longest Daycare

Paperman is such a touching short. I loved it. I really did. Watch it on youtube.

Best Short Live:

Asad

Buzkashi Boys

Curfew

Death of a Shadow

Henry

I like the name Henry?

There you go. I'm usually terrible at guessing who will win the Oscar, but you could copy me if you want. Or, if you want to win that DVD prize, make your own guesses below.