Mansome: The Perfect Hybrid

by Joe

Some guys are beefy, hairy, and manly. Some guys are suave, look great in a suit, and handsome. When you see an attractive man, but you can't quite make up your mind, just ask yourself this: Does he wear a suit well? Am I more afraid of him beating my body into a bloody pulp than the possibility of a verbal assault that will end in me feeling of inadequate? Did you answer “no” to either question? Well, he probably isn't MANSOME then. Did you answer “yes” to both questions? Uh oh, looks like we have a sexy stud on our hands.

Manly:

Ron Perlman

You'll have trouble finding a girl who would consciously want to fuck him, but it's easy to find guys who wouldn't want to fuck with him. He could tear my hands off and feed them to me before tearing my head off the neck. And he would be laughing the whole time.

Ray Winstone

That voice. Beowulf! That fucking voice!

Russell Crowe

 

Voice sounds like he's smoked too many New Zealand cigarettes. His face looks like you just couldn't hurt it, not even with a sledge hammer. And he was a gladiator, of course.

Handsome:

George Clooney

He's not going to fight his way out of a situation, instead he's going to make me feel bad out of a situation. He's a smooth-talker and a schmoozer.

Johnny Depp

Too quirky to be manly. Almost too quirky to be handsome, but it's all part of the ol' J. Depp charm. He's the indie handsome man.

Zachary Quinto

...just look at the face...

Mansome:

Brad Pitt

Look at him in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford or Fight Club. When he is in his GQ cover boy state it's easy to merely call him handsome, but when that beard comes out! Move over Hitler, your reckoning is coming!

Christian Bale

This is almost a requirement to play Batman. You need to convincingly pull both sides off, and when he lets that beard grow out, well, it's the meeting of the two worlds.

Bradley Cooper

When he has stubble. Nikita said that he was too womanly to be Mansome, but with that body! Look at that five o'clock shadow. What a smile! The A-Team coupled with Limitless puts him high in this ranking.

Tom Hardy

Did you see his muscles? In like, anything. Look at Warrior, Bronson or The Dark Knight Rises. But don't let us forget his smooth talking self in Inception and This Means War.