We would all like to see actors come
out of their box and try new things. It's always surprising to get a
glimpse at the range these performers embody, and sometimes we're
blown away by the potential they'd been hiding the whole time. The
best example I can think of is when Heath Ledger was cast as The
Joker. No one was really excited about that. If anything, more people
were pissed and disappointed. The majority of the world sat
indifferent the fact that the cutie from 10 Things I Hate About
You was cast as the iconic
Batman nemesis. But no one was over the moon. Then? Well, how about
an Academy Award for best supporting actor for a role in a fucking
comic book movie. The Dark Knight helped
shape a new Academy Award outlook, and a lot of the credit can go to
Ledger. A movie that deals with good and evil can only be as good at
the villains, and this Joker was very good. He came out of his box
and showed us what he was really made of. So now, my friend Chris and
I take a look at some other actors and the roles we would love to see
them play. (Joe)
Chris's
Picks:
There are so many underrated actors and
actresses out there. It's phenomenal, but not unexpected, given the
glut of media that abounds today. Who has the time to watch
everything? Or even half of one percent of everything? Or the money?
It's a problem.
The example of Heath Ledger is
intriguing because you're right, I would not have expected him to do
a great job as the Joker. He was just this kid that did romcoms and
big blockbusters, both on the power of his awesome jaw line. Or so it
seemed. Then Brokeback Mountain came around, and people
started reexamining his past performances. There was some nuance
there, but not a lot. Paychecks, basically, with a little bit of
sweat equity. Then boom! The first clip of him as the Joker appeared
and it was electric. In that spirit, here are a few actors that are
underappreciated, combined with a few diverse roles I think they
would do well in.
Thandie
Newton: The Next Doctor
Every time an actor leaves Doctor
Who, there's an amazing furor over who should be the next Doctor.
Will the person be able to take on the role and really make it their
own, or will it seem a grisly caricature of what came before? (I'm
looking at you, Paul McGann.) Matt Smith isn't likely going anywhere
anytime soon, but there's been some talk around the Internet water
cooler about who might be tapped. Lately, the debates have taken on a
different flavor, as there's been some call to have the Doctor
regenerate as someone of a different race or as a woman.
I say, why not both? The actress would
have to be capable of both good dramatic bravado and good comedic
timing. Newton has both in spades. Her comedic timing is proven in
the underrated Run Fatboy Run and in every interview she's
ever given. As for drama, her turn as Condoleezza Rice in W
was stunning, as is most of her other dramatic work. She's also
stunning in For Colored Girls and is the best part of the
treacly The Pursuit of Happyness. She's also no stranger to
overblown action and adventure, having been in The Chronicles of
Riddick, 2012, and Mission: Impossible II.
Chances of this happening:
Pretty good, I think, say 40%. I don't necessarily think it'll be
Newton who gets the role (though she would do well in it), but I do
think there's a better than good chance they'll decide to make the
next Doctor a woman.
Sean
Hayes: The Elongated Man
It has always bothered me how little
screen and television work Sean Hayes has done after Will &
Grace ended. (I'm pretending that the Three Stooges movie
never happened. I think it's for the best.) He was always the
solidest actor on the show, willing to make a fool of himself and
take on his character's preposterous positions, while still showing
that the character had a heart and a soul behind him. Far more
interesting than Will's "I'm just like you guys" shtick
that took years to burn away. Hayes is best known for working in
comedy. He's appeared as a guest star on a lot of sitcoms and his
film work has been generally comedies as well. I don't see any reason
to make him take on a purely dramatic role, even in my hypotheticals.
Let me preface my comments on why I
chose Hayes with an explanation of why I chose the Elongated Man.
DC's cinematic universe over the course of the last decade has been
dreary and melancholy. It's like they saw the success of Nolan's
Batman films and decided that was how things should be from now on.
God, is that ever boring. But there's a whole pantheon of characters
that aren't angsty dickheads that DC could make films based on. With
the announcement that they're going to try to do a JLA movie, I hope
they find the space to have some of the lesser JLA members in the
mix, and Ralph Dibny is just perfect for that. He's basically human,
has a stable relationship with his wife, and likes to go on road
trips solving crimes. (I like to pretend that the whole Identity
Crisis nonsense never happened). Plus he's a detective, which
people seem to like, even though the Nolan Batman films featured
almost zero detective work.
Why do I think Hayes can pull this off?
He's got the slapstick chops to get the right timing for any
ridiculous Elongated Man fight scenes that would inevitably occur.
He's got a lot of heart as an actor, which you need with Ralph. More
than anything, Ralph's character is defined by his love of Sue, and I
think Hayes could make that central to the role. And anyone who
thinks Hayes couldn't "play straight" (which is a quagmire
all its own) should go watch his guest spot on Scrubs or his TV movie
take on Jerry Lee Lewis.
Chances of this happening: For
an Elongated Man showing up in *a* movie, I'd say probably 20%. For
it to actually be Sean Hayes, well, I imagine it's wishful thinking.
Juliette
Lewis: Harley Quinn
I've made no bones about my distaste
for the "gritty" aspects all DC properties have seemingly
taken on (I'm waiting for a gritty Plastic Man comic—it's only a
matter of time). This distaste is doubled when I think about the
revamped Harley Quinn in the New 52. To me, Harley is perfect when
she's manic and when she's answering to an equally manic Joker, but
also when there's fun abounding. The two are a pair made for each
other, a villainous take on Nick and Nora Charles. They complete each
other.
Harley Quinn is a role tailor-made for
Juliette Lewis. She's made a career out of being a mess on screen,
though she's really taken on a very diverse set of roles. As Mallory
in Natural Born Killers, she earned a lifetime pass from me,
but she's also done credible work with any number of other
characters. I find she's an actress, like Drew Barrymore, that leaves
very few people without an opinion. They either love her or hate her,
but she's almost never thought of with a shrug of the shoulders. At
almost 40, she's probably too old to play Harley as she's imagined in
most of her appearances (though she still looks stunning), as a kid
who has sort of fallen under the Joker's spell and views him as a
mentor/father figure. But that gives the option for making the
character more of an equal with the Joker, a partner in crime and
frivolity. Harley has time and again proven that she's the equal to
the Joker in terms of menace and (lack of) sanity, and it would be
interesting to see that dynamic shifted a little into a little more
egalitarian relationship. Hell, I wouldn't even need Batman to make
an appearance in the film. Just do a movie with her and whoever as
the Joker, pulling a series of Bonnie and Clyde robberies and such.
Chances of this happening:
Nearly zero. I doubt there'll be another movie with the Joker in it
for at least 5 years, which means no movies with Harley in them
either. Also, I doubt they'd use an older actress anyway, no matter
how perfect for the part, because T&A sells tickets.
Justin
Long: Mr. Kinney from Robocop
We
all know there's a new Robocop movie being made. I'm going to see it.
It's just going to happen. It's got some great people attached to it,
but there seem to be some production issues, and some of the leaks
about the script make it seem like it could be a very bad movie
indeed. Whatever. I think the movie needs some Justin Long in it.
Specifically, he should play the role of Mr. Kinney, the junior
executive who gets riddled by bullets from the malfunctioning ED-209.
That's the kind of role I'd love to see Justin Long in.
Please, casting people. Make this
happen.
Chances
of this happening:
fingers crossed.
Joe's Picks:
Tina
Fey: A Mob Boss
Think
of Albert Brooks from Drive.
There would be no tongue and cheek. No dark humor. This would be Fey
at her most ruthless, killing motherfuckers left and right without an
emotion present. It'd be like Salma Hayek in Savages,
but the difference is that Fey wouldn't suck. She would actually be a
menacing force.
She
hasn't done a serious role yet, but it's my opinion that comedic
actors are some of the best actors around. To do comedy well they
have to have such a sense of timing and balance. If they deliver a
joke too early or too late it'll ruin the whole bit. A lot like
horror. And if Fey is able to bring that talent of timing to a truly
evil character she would own it.
Chances
of this happening:
30%. It's a possibility, but I don't foresee Fey leaving comedy for a
long while.
Michael
Fassbender: A Drag Queen
Let's
think about Fassie-Bear's most memorable movies: 300,
X-Men: First Class, Inglorious Basterds, Shame, Prometheus.
Is there a trend here? Oh yes, they're all masculine characters. He
is the skinniest manly actor around. He's been building himself as
the intelligent manly actor who is really good at his job. He has
been moving around in the field, playing Freud last year in
Cronenberg's movie, but he still hasn't broken to the other side.
He's still just too damn manly.
His
physique is part of the reason I would love to see him play a drag
queen. I mean, he's got a great body for it, and his face would look
dazzling with the glitter peppered on. Another reason I want to see
this is how unexpected it would be (kind of the whole reason we're
doing this post). We've been used to him being this smooth talking
badass motherfucker that shoots Nazi's dicks off, or throws knives
into Nazi's chests, or battles as a Spartan. No one would think he
would be taking the stage in drag. And that surprise would be so much
fun. The main reason for my wanting him to do this? He would kill! He
would be so good at it. We know that he can act. We can see he has
the body for it. All he needs to do is say yes. Just think of him
pulsating to Lady Gaga's “Bad Romance.” I'm in. I hope you're in,
too.
Chances
of this happening:
50/50. I wouldn't count it out, but if it doesn't happen in the next
few years I would doubt of him ever doing it.
Bradley
Cooper: Captain Planet
It's
all in the jawline. Once you find that perfect face-shape you just
need to paint it blue, dye the hair green and we're ready to save the
planet. I had a long debate with people at work about who should take
up the mantel of Captain Planet if they made a movie, and there have
been rumors of the Transformers
producers putting one out. After many possible actors on my list
(Chris Pine coming in a close second), I settled on Bradley Cooper.
We've
seen him do action in The
A-Team,
where he also proves that he can have the body required for a super
hero. He's done comedy, so we know that he would have a good humor
when it came to one-liners. And rumor has it that he is a nerd. He is
adapting a science-fiction series called Hyperion
right now. Which means he would take the campy nature of Captain
Planet and treat it fairly and seriously.
Chances
of this happening:It
really all depends on whether the Captain Planet movie gets made or
not. If it does, I would put this at 70%.
James
Franco: A Corpse
That's
it. He just lays there for two hours like a stupid dumb dead corpse.
And people pee on him.
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